A stabbing pain shot through my chest, my heart felt like it was clenching for dear life. I curled up my arms and lay face down on my bed, hoping that by putting pressure on it, it might somehow relieve the pain. My breath became very shallow, any deep inhale caused the pain to spike. Was this a heart attack? My mind began racing, trying to decide if I should call an ambulance or a friend. But the thought of uncurling my arm to grab my phone was too painful, so I lay there frozen for a minute or two.
Why was this happening? I was young, ate a healthy diet, exercised, wasn’t overly stressed (or didn’t think so anyways), and I had a decent social life.
A visit to my doctor afterwards didn’t reveal any answers; tests showed that my lungs and heart were healthy and there was no physical cause of the pain. My doctor suggested that it could be anxiety, and that I should try to relax more.
Great. I can do that. But that’s when things became a bit strange – as I took time to relax and watch TV or read, the stabbing chest pain started happening more regularly! And it actually happened more often when I was resting.
I worked with a therapist to address the causes of my anxiety. We talked about my people pleasing tendencies, we talked about pressure I felt from a variety of sources, we talked about my childhood. But guess what? The chest pains continued.
I began to get scared of the chest pains. I was worried it might happen while I was driving or riding a bike, and that I might get into an accident. I was worried it would happen at a social gathering, and then I might have to lie down on a couch and look like an idiot. I began to avoid these situations. The more the worries, the more the chest pains.
Then I had an experience that changed everything. I was watching a presentation about exposure therapy, and the psychologist suggested that we try an exercise. We would inhale deeply and rapidly for twenty seconds, trying to simulate the feeling of a panic attack. Sounds awful, right? Immediately the thought crept up in my mind, “what if I have chest pain?” Then the psychologist said something that flipped a switch for me: “we WANT to cause a bit of pain, so that we can train the brain that there is nothing to worry about. As you notice the pain, say to yourself ‘alright, yay, bring it on!’”
This was bizarre, but I gave it a shot. I breathed rapidly and deeply, causing my heart to race and the familiar stabbing sensation to begin, and I said to myself “alright, yay, bring it on”… then I breathed more calmly and it went away.
Fast forward a few months later, and I had zero chest pain, zero panic attacks.
When I viewed the symptoms as a problem, as a danger, they progressively got worse. When I saw the symptoms for what they really were, irrelevant brain signals, they went away. The trick was, and this is the most important part, I didn’t wait for the symptoms to get better before I resumed living my life. I began slowly re-engaging in my life, I rode my bike, went to parties, drove, and reminded myself that if I had the symptoms it was nothing to worry about.
The real reason your panic attacks aren’t going away? Because you still view them as a problem, and you’re still trying to make them go away. Panic disorder is essentially a phobia of interoceptive signals – your brain believes that rapid heart rate, chest muscles tightening, and short breath, is a grave danger. As soon as your brain notices these signals, it kicks into overdrive, causing an increase of those same signals, which again is perceived as danger, which causes an increase of those same signals, which again is … you get it.
I know this is counter intuitive and feels strange, but the minute you accept the physical symptoms, the minute you actually say to your brain, “ya, that’s cool, let’s have a bit more of that”, that is the minute that your brain will stop the cycle. Don’t wait for the symptoms to disappear, begin to slowly engage again in life and do the things you avoided before.
I promise this helps. Don’t believe me? Try for one month, and if you don’t notice any difference, email me and demand a free therapy session.
